The "ghosting" theory

Traveling to foreign countries is something that I've been doing since Erasmus happened in my life. Is always a terrifying experience since you go alone and you put all your efforts in finding your own place. A home where you feel comfortable even though you'll eventually leave. A family.
The worst part is usually the cultural shock. Until now, all countries I've travelled were European places. We may be different, we may have different languages and costumes, but going to places such as Greece, Italy... Made me realize that there are more similitudes between us, as Mediterranean, poor, hardworking countries than I thought.
We're truthful outgoing people. We have nothing so we share everything. We open our houses, lives and hearts to those who are in need or willing to get to know us.
You can see many differences between the countries within Europe. Some are more humble, humane. Some are more posh, cold... But at the end we get to understand clichés.
When I came to the states I wasn't expecting anything. Some friends from different states warned me about my kindness. They were afraid of that stupid goodness in me dramatically crushing against the falseness of their culture. The fake smiles, the dishonest "truths", the lies... The warmth this culture shows that rapidly turns into selfishness. People who need or want something from you and will get it by any means necessary. Once they have what they want, don't expect anything else from them. They'll ghost you. And ghosting someone is something that I didn't even know existed before I came here.
I'm not all good. I'm not an angel. I'm more evil. But that evil collides with the evil here. Because mine is Spaniard. Is more about making the most of every opportunity, have fun, prank people around, dark humor and not being taken for granted. Here evil is about using people, breaking hearts, deceive and lie... And that's something I'm not use to.
Nobody has made me changed in my life. I've learned from my mistakes, from others mistakes... But I've always had in mind that whoever is in front of me cannot be compared with someone that hurt me in my past. My parents always taught me that using people and being jerks to them is not acceptable. And, for what matters in this country, I don't need a God to tell me that. Is common sense and empathy what works for me.
In just six months I feel that I've been used and disposed more times than in 31 years old.
Women are raised under a huge social pressure. Find a man before you're too old. And men will try. Oh believe me, they'll try... For men here women are just mere objects. Toys to play and break. They'll try with you, your friend, your "sister" and whoever is in the path. They'll give you false hopes, drive you insane... And, in the end, they'll say you were the crazy one. They'll turn you against your sisters and you'll become one more statistic. Another jealous crazy lady to whom he did no harm.
I've seen more understanding between women that finally talk to each other than otherwise, but there's still a lot of them who keep thinking men is the price and will fight you even though you're not the one to blame.
Of course there's a few men worthy, but all of this will happen under their knowledge and you won't see them taking a stand, saying to other men that using women (or other people in general) is not right. For them will be funny to see how patriarchy works and most of the time will agree on calling women crazy because of their reaction against a broken heart.

"You can have many acquitances, but real friends can be counted on the fingers on one hand". That's a Spanish saying that I just got to understand once I realized how this culture works.

It's kind of sad. You could said I am a very naïve person but the truth is that I choose to believe in people, in their inner good. I don't have any reasons to lie to people. Why would they have them then? Would I be smarter for not trusting people or would I just become a not at all genuine person?

I have always chosen to be myself, therefor, genuine. And that does not make me less smart, but more aware of where I am living. 

Since I started this post I've had the time to analyze my feelings. Even more, I've talked to many other people about this situation and I've found out that I was not the only one shocked by this behavior. 

Many others are heartbroken. Not because of a failed relationship, but for being deceived and disappointed by people they trustred. And trust is something you earn with time and can be lost in just one second. 

Time, effort and understanding you gave to people you deeply liked or loved. A million feelings and moments you wanted to share with them as your most precious treasure that have been left with no place to go. 

While analyzing those experiences, which mostly come from a culture where freedom of speech is not a real thing (since people hide their feelings in plain sight and are not able to comfront and talk through a situation where disagreement has taken place) I found the lights. 

Yes, lights, in plural. Not light. 

All of those who are made from a different "dough" (as I would say in Spain).

People who don't match with the culture they were born in. 

Truthful, loving and bright ones who seek for a change and a chance to be known, to be seen.

It might not be enough, by I see you. And you are powerful. You irradiate an energy the world needs to be able to feel more often. All the time. And you are not alone. You just need the courage to go out and speak up. Stand up and you will see other people standing up right next to you. 

You will be surprised of how many and how close they are. 

Be straight forward. Show to the world how communication can be the key to change behavior.

Prove wrong to whoever think that hidding feelins is the answer. That ghosting people is acceptable. 

A word for a ghost. Don't turn your face the other way when you see who ghosted you. It might be hard at the beggining but, at the end, it will be better if you say everything you needed to say rather than keep it in silence. 

A person who is able to "ghost" an equal, will take advantage of the fact that nobody is going to complain. They think they're safe doing whatever they want and that's not true. 

Feelings come and go, people get over them but, if you ever took the courage to go to someone and made them know you liked them, have the same courage to come whenever those feelings are gone and give that person a closure. That's the least they deserve.

It is hard. But if you have a little bit of self-respect, don't let people think you are a dickless coward.

For those who have been ghosted, I know it is painful and outrageous. You feel mad, betrayed and torn apart but, do you really want someone in your life who is such a piece of shit? I don't think so. They are doing you a favor. So return that favor. And when they think they can get away with a ghosting move, prove them otherwise. Talk to them, make them know that you are not mad, but dissapointed. That they are less than worthless and that, if they ever thought highly of themselves, the least they could have done was to face you instead of hiding as a scared child. What are they? Adult men or babies wearing dipers? Did they really think you could not take a break-up or it was actually their balless-selves the ones carrying the shame of not being able to talk because they were already thinking in many ways to go and hurt someone else?

I am a straight forward person. I choose communication. I choose to be brave.

So I expect the same from you. 

And if you think what I said it's slighty truthless, try to prove me wrong. 

Peace out!